I've never wished to act on those cruel notions

That cross my mind at times, but I've felt anger,

'Cos I've been hurt and suffered vile emotions.

At these times, wrong decisions lead to danger.

-

I have responsibilities. I can't ignore them,

Unless some n…

I feel a change is coming in my story;

My heart's blown cold, then hot, from north to west

If I am brave and honest, maybe--glory

Will manifest itself. I'll do my best,

-

Retaining bound'ries while regaining sympathy,

For my antagonist's grave burdens' w…

I'll get to the point yea, right away

I'm having trouble handling my life today

I've been ridiculed, mocked, and I've been clocked

And I have no defense, my senses locked

I've been disrespected, my pride is all infected

The world in online life reflected

…

unravel me without delay

with batting thread and macrame

my mental health's unmade today

and rapidly I start to fray

.

the stomach acids eat at me

my eyes lose focus and can’t see

my skin is sloughing off so free

cascades of wellness one two three

.

today…

But I've no strength, no courage! If I must

Continue living, tread the steeper way,

Climb crises--impulse might o'erride dread; just

An instant could decide things either way.

.

I'm going to meet my friend tonight

When we hold hands, my heart's so light

I'll kiss his face and hug him tight--

My pulses race just thinking of our date.

For months uncounted, it has been

My dearest wish, though still unseen,

To bravely ask, with…

I hope that I can find a proper manner

To make new friends and treat them as they’d choose,

So they feel safe and cheerful ‘neath my banner

And not be overwhelmed, creeped out, bemused.

-

I know there’s something wrong, but no one tells

Just where I erred…

You know that words can hurt

Even more than a stick or a stone.

A pen destroys more than a sword

A doctor’s care I can’t afford

But there’s safety in staying alert;

Still more, in life alone.

I see where I went wrong;

I’m uncertain what I should have don…

My life is an arena where a struggle for control

Is always raging, night and day. O, who shall win my soul?

At times, my heart will seize the helm, and love with all its might

But then my mind will land a punch and try to do what’s right.

And alternatin…

Emotions rage & flare inside my mind


I panic, scream, & quiver oftentimes,


But these explosive feelings feel confined


Behind a barricade that muffles, mutes, & binds.

I know I'm having feelings, but their sound


Is stifled, distant; my heart seems quit…

I'm lonely, I'm lonely

I'm drifting away

If only, if only

Friends weren't far away.

I've wandered much longer

Than I thought I would

Forever I ponder

If my choice was good

I want so to reach out

And touch someone's hand

Before thoughts can leach out

The…

Story is marked as mature