Stories tagged “PARODY”

  • Just to say--

    This isn't just to say

    That I have eaten the plums

    From the icebox that you unwisely left unlocked


    Like, you didn't even install a lock

    What were you thinking?


    Any butthead could come along and steal your plums!

    You're damn lucky it was me.


    They wer…

    Posted 4 years ago
  • Phoebe and Casey: Drinks

    "So, my intrepid friend. I think I'm quite ready for another adventure. Care to follow me once more down the rabbit hole?" Phoebe asked her friend across the table. She watched over the rim of her glass as Casey downed her fourth ale of the night.

    Casey …

    Posted 5 years ago
  • I lik to be

    to be or not?

    I feel so mobile

    shifting. which one

    Is more noble?

    Suffering with

    Sticks or rocks

    Outrageoius fortun

    My mind socks

    A sea of troubles

    Splishy splash

    I’ll fight it all

    the sea I bash

    to die,. to sleep,

    Perhchance to drim

    that is the rub


    Posted 5 years ago
  • Wildean Fragment 5

    One dazzling evening, Mr. Dover Beach was lunching with me and tossing his curls. One of the curls fell down to the ground and Lee Flit swiftly stooped down and rescued it from a passing crayfish, which frazzledly crayed away for easier prey.

    Oliver Sutt…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Wildean Fragment 4

    ‘Good-bye, dear Prince!’ he murmured, ‘will you let me kiss your hand? I am going to the House of Death. Death is the brother of Sleep, is he not?’

    And he kissed the Happy Prince on the lips, and fell down dead at his feet.

    ‘Bring me the two most precious…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Wildean Fragment 3

    What Lord Shillingsly didn't realize was the magnitude of the gift he was to give to her in exchange for her silence. Arnold was a sure thing; no doubt of that. But when Lady Enid showed her the photorealistic scans of his date with the flower girl as an …

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Wildean Fragments 1, 2

    "Yes, sir," he said, and closed the door with a slight bang. Odd, thought Howard as he lit a new and slightly bedraggled cigarette: Temple's out of sorts. What's got up his jumper today? Arnold raced for the door and--


    The Turlock continued to stalk u…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Cow Rite 4: Roadie, Oh!

    Twenty minutes later, Snifty leaned back against his bar and wiped his brow against the bar rag. The Turvey had never had so many patrons as there were here today. None of them knew anyone else, but they were all here for the same thing: The Tweaking. In …

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Legend of Tory Adore 13: They All Knew He was Tough

    Kendreth Leary, manager of the targeted bank, had never trusted Tory or Constantine, even when they were a newly shacked up couple of fifteen months old. Something always seemed odd about the two of them. Maybe it was the flinty scruff on Con's chin, or t…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Legend of Tory Adore 12: The Wrath of Pop

    Overseeing the meeting was their old mentor and senpai, Shrarl Glorlushuprlahh, known as Pop. He raised his twin hands in blessing.

    "Kill 'em!" he benedicted. "Wade hip deep in their blood!"

    Defiant shouts from both sides echoed through the rafters and …

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Legend of Tory Adore 11: Two Rows

    Right on time, too: 4:03 AM, according to the almanac. O Sumo Garcia-Murry, or OSGM for short. But nobody said that. That sounded stupid.

    O was the perfect person to bind this team together. Even Con felt braver when she showed up, nodding to everyone unt…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Legend of Tory Adore 10: Orange and Black

    Orange was in like a shot. It didn't matter what kind of shot. Orange was always looking for some action, which was what drew him to movie production in the first place. Right now he was working on a tracking shot, and had almost found his quarry. After t…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Legend of Tory Adore 9: Teaming with Life

    They agreed to five posse members per team, not counting Con and Tor, the leaders of the temporary pax. Tory thumbed her mobile phone and, after several months, assembled a cracked team of heisters: Turbo Lean (the speedster), Andreas Ut (the fireworks ex…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Legend of Tory Adore 7: The Next Line: The Pot Slickens: BAM

    "What?" he demanded, sick of all the verbiage I've been spewing like someone spewing something.

    "Sweetling," Tory signaled with her flags, "It's time for a resolution. We've been at it like frogs for too many years. We're both more than a hundred years ol…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Legend of Tory Adore 6: A Line Drawn in the Sand

    Tory drew a line in the sand that covered the table. What a filthy restaurant. Don't go.

    "It's like this, Connie," she began. And then she continued. "Like this." she went on, adding nothing to the sentence that had gone before. "Just listen to this," she…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Legend of Tory Adore 5: The Plural of Possum

    "The time has come," Tory said, "to speak of manly things. First, I want to return the unicorn horn you left at my place back in '78. Here."

    Connie took it graciously, smiling bitterly. "My point exactly," he intoned. "But what's yours, Tory?"

    I'll have t…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Legend of Tory Adore 4: "Huck Like a Mocha"

    As the music changed to The Bobs' "Zombie Jamboree," so too did the mood of the two ex-lovers change from one of tentative friendliness to one of more serious feeling. It was time for the vocalizations of turkeys; the time of refreshment was over.

    "One mo…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Legend of Tory Adore 3: "Would you Like to Build a Showdown?"

    After tipping his hat, the hat took their orders and went back to the kitchen. Pips let out a soft snort, shaking his head gently to and fro. "That hat's probably either your kid, or mine," he said nostalgically. "And here we all are Scooper's. …

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Legend of Tory Adore 2: "Futile Attraction"

    Tory was staring up at the slanted mirror hooked to the ceiling; Pips's gaze was fixed on the shattered remains of his mocha flagon, in twenty-three pieces on the floor. As the CD unit restarted with "You're my Everything," their eyes started in towards e…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • The Legend of Tory Adore 1: "Encounter at Scooper's"

    Old Tory Adore may not seem like much now, but let me tell you, back in the day, Tory was a woman to reckon with. When she trod the streets of Fentriss, New Jersey, brother, you could hear people scurryin' away. Her frogskin boots jingled remorselessly as…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Cow Rite 2: Ray of Wight

    Loping along the highway in a bustle of activity and a Winebagel Scampmaster, Ossiary Lefthook sprang bodily towards the Arkansas border, more or less staying upon the tarmacked line of road that went by the name of Interstate 83.2, or "The Tagliatelle Ba…

    Posted 7 years ago
  • Cow Rite 1: The Hour Itself

    The day of the Cow Rite had arrived, like a lover who had blacked out overnight and had finally come home from the pub. As the day dawned, a mauve haze like a spill of off-coloured milk on the dairy floor of the horizon, the fields blossomed with daffodil…

    Posted 7 years ago