His shoes and pants were soaked. Cold, they stuck to clung to him like a heavy second skin. As he turned the corner, he stepped down into water that swallowed his shoe up past his ankle before he touched the sidewalk. Somehow it felt colder than his feel …

Seventeen dwarves rounded the corner in clown make-up looking like what can only be described as demented. Ten of them still had napkins tucked into their collars. Seven wielded forks. One swung a turkey leg menacingly then paused to take another greasy b…