Fire, After the Ashes
I hate being a slave to my feelings. I don't know how not to feel something. Shit, feeling something on command isn't something I can do either.
Try not being angry
Try not to be sad.
Stop being depressed.
Don't like her.
Don't feel bad for him, he chose to be homeless.
All I learned was how to craft these ill-fitting masks to show that I was fine, that I was tired, or sick. Wearing one hid my weaknesses from my friends, letting them stay comfortable.
I'd hate to bother anyone.
What I really learned was how to stay silent and not punch them, to go away and not break everything around me, to keep whatever I was feeling inside because if it came boiling out, my pain would demand nothing less than an eye for an eye and then I'd be the asshole.
Besides, I can take it . . . right?
I used to be so nice.
When did that change? Who was that other me? The kinder, gentler one. I can't remember who he was or what dreams drove him to be better.
I wish I wasn't so angry all the goddamned time.
No prequels yet. Why not write one?
No sequels yet. Why not write one?
Comments (2 so far!)
Oh no! Hopefully you get to feeling right again soon enough! I've actually been reading about mental health stuff a lot lately. I struggle with sometimes some pretty bad anxiety. It can cause me a lot of problems. But really, the easiest thing and the first step to getting better is to just learn to accept it. My anxiety and my emotional issues are a part of me. I can't just turn them off or get rid of them. They still stress me a lot, but maybe, I'm learning to deal with them just a little better. So, hopefully you can, too!
- #4267 Posted 2 days ago
Thank you for the kind words, Princess Lapis. Writing seems to help the most. At least after therapy/counseling sessions which I can't afford any more. It was nice to have access to that kind of care while I was in college (they had people on staff to talk to). Anxiety and depression have been part of my life for a long time now but I can remember a time when that wasn't true, even if I can't pinpoint the change.
- #4269 Posted 43 hours ago
- Published 11 days ago.
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