That's Not My Name
A silent journey home.
Foxglove came over when she spotted us. "Noleka, what-"
"Please don't call me that."
Foxglove tilted her head. "What?"
"Don't call me that name. I don't want it anymore."
"But Noleka, that's your na-"
"Not anymore. Please. Call me Tourmaline."
Foxglove frowned. "Alright. Can you please explain now where this child came from?"
"We found her with her dying mother in the forest. Her mother asked me to take care of her."
"No-- Tourmaline. You're too young to be a parent."
"Someone has to. I promised I would."
Foxglove opened her mouth to object, before sighing. "Alright. But please allow me to help."
I was glad to have the help, actually. "Of course. Thank you."
"Don't mention it. Does she have a name?"
I hadn't realized until then. "No. Her mother died before she told me either of their names."
"Then I suppose someone will have to name her. She can't live without a name."
"I was thinking... Ruby."
Foxglove smiled. "It's a cute name."
I nodded. "And it's hers now."
No sequels yet. Why not write one?
Comments (4 so far!)
Average reader rating 4.00/5
I'm commenting on this series as a whole.
It's not exactly my sort of thing but your command of sentence structure and punctuation is spot on. Very well done, I enjoyed reading these.
- #4172 Posted 4 months ago
- 4 out of 5
Thank you! My writing style is something I'm pretty proud of. Took me a while to figure out how to do it in a way I was happy with.
- #4178 Posted 4 months ago
Ruby is a great name! So, I'd love for a description of Tourmaline and Foxglove and the enemies. The reader can't picture them. Also, the weapons and fighting could use a lot of description. There is SO MUCH potential here!
- #4187 Posted 4 months ago
Her name is actually Ruby because of backwards logic for naming her before this story really solidified and existed! That was a fun time.
Oh right.... If there's one major weakness I have, it's remembering to describe people very much. So tacked on here in a random comment, the forest tribe people have slightly darker skin (not dark, just definitely not white), and Foxglove has purple hair, while Tourmaline has a sort of greenish color. The enemies... I admittedly didn't feel like describing. =p
I might eventually expand on that more. Been vaguely thinking of making a webcomic! Where you'd have lots of easy visuals. But for now, just writing of Tourmaline's memories.
- #4200 Posted 3 months ago
Inspired by (sequel to):
"Who are you?" she asked after several moments of silence.
"N-" I realized I didn't have to keep goi…Desperate Plea
- Published 4 months ago.
- Story viewed 14 times and rated 1 times.
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