Silk and Fur
"Not who you were expecting?"
The snake dropped from the branch, out of view before emerging mere heartbeats later - as a wolf. Its cold yellow eyes weighed heavily on Rahmi's neck.
"I doubt there are any other shape-shifters here, so I'd wager you are exactly who I'm expecting," she replied as evenly as she could manage. She blinked, and now the wolf had been replaced by a man. Tall, unshaven, and dressed in a ragged collection of furs that wouldn't be worth the effort of taking to even the most backwater of village markets. He stank of beer, sweat and wild magic. Rahmi's eyes narrowed.
"What's the matter, silk-witch, do my skins not impress you? I suppose you'd prefer a form that you could saddle or leash." he sneered.
"Your magic leaves nothing to be desired, young man. But your attitude is as appalling as any other wizard or sorcerer I've met. I would hate to have wasted my travels on another undeserved reputation."
"And your riddles are as tiring as any other witch's. What do you want, old woman?"
No prequels yet. Why not write one?
No sequels yet. Why not write one?
Comments (6 so far!)
Average reader rating 5.00/5
Ooh, a good small story. I like it. You should write mooooore!
- #4104 Posted 3 months ago
- 5 out of 5
Nice story! I wanna see what happens next!
- #4105 Posted 3 months ago
- 5 out of 5
Welcome to Ficlatte and well met! I like shapeshifters and think you've characterized him well. I'm not getting as much from Rahmi but that might be okay, this is the shapeshifter's introduction and it's his scene to steal. I also like that he wears skins but when he refers to skins, he could as easily be referring to his shapefhifting prowess. Whenever possible, sentences should be doing multiple things at once and that works well. Format-wise I would suggest moving the opening dialogue into what is currently the second paragraph in between the two sentences. It feels right to me. On that note, how much constructive criticism are you interested in? I tend to offer a lot but I don't want to overwhelm anyone or give it where it's not wanted. I suppose that might be too late here as I couldn't seem to stop myself, but it might prevent me from going overboard in the future. I will certainly third the other two in requesting more writing.
- #4116 Posted 3 months ago
- #4123 Posted 3 months ago
Thanks all for the comments!
Constructive criticism is much appreciated. I definitely plan on adding more, hopefully sooner rather than later.
- #4124 Posted 3 months ago
ooh intriguing. you've done a fantastic job of setting the scene for a longer story here. like princesslapis and normellian, i would love to read more! Purely in terms of format, a comma would be better than a full-stop between '"leash" and 'he sneered' .. I think :)
- #4127 Posted 2 months ago
- 5 out of 5
- Published 3 months ago and featured 3 months ago.
- Story viewed 23 times and rated 3 times.
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