Sympathy

PrincessLapis

I like writing, but I'm not sure if I'm really any good at it yet.


Etril cowered in fear. This was it. She'd known it was coming, but hoped it wouldn't be this soon.

...

No gunshot came.

"Forget it," the alien said.

Etril looked up, hesitantly. "...What?"

"Forget it, I'm not going to shoot you. It's not even worth it." She placed the gun back in its holster.

Was it a she? The voice just sounded faintly feminine.

"W-why not?" Etril asked as the alien went back to looking around. "I-I thought for sure-"

"I told you. Not worth it." That wasn't true. The alien had seen the poor girl cowering in fear. And felt bad for her. It had been easy, shooting the ones who ran or fought back. But she couldn't bring herself to shoot that one.

...

"What is this?"

"What?"

"This." The alien pointed to one of the paintings.

"Oh." Etril got up, and hesitantly walked over.

"I'm really not going to shoot you." The human was still scared of her.

"Ah. Well, this is," Etril started, explaining the painting.

"And this one?" the alien asked, pointing to another.

"Oh, that's"

They continued this a while.


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Comments (1 so far!)

Robert Quick

Robert Quick

There is a cool idea here, something about the juxtaposition of war and art but it's pretty muddled right now. I'm not going to go into much here but I will say that shortcutting out the descriptions and conversation of the art robs the reader of the ability to be in either the alien or Etril's place. We're missing out on what is turning out to be an important moment.

  • #4049 Posted 41 hours ago
  • 0

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