Gone With The Tide

PrincessLapis

I like writing, but I'm not sure if I'm really any good at it yet.


I sat alone on the beach, skipping stones into the inky black water. The sun had long since gone, leaving the stars alone to try to light the night. A cold breeze blew, forcing me to shiver for warmth.

If anyone was here, they would've advised I go inside, lest I catch a cold or something. But I didn't feel up to going inside. Not where I should go, anyway. He would be there. And I didn't want to see him. Not after earlier. He likely wouldn't want to see me, either.

But I couldn't stay here, either.

I got up and tentatively stepped into the water. It was almost like ice, freezing cold. It didn't take long for my feet to feel slightly numb. But the shock was a welcome change.

I stepped back out, the cold sand now feeling almost warm. Funny how that happened. I started walking, albeit with a slight stumble.

I had far more important things to do than wallow in self-pity, or otherwise feel sorry for myself.

I'd move on.


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Comments (3 so far!)

ethelthefrog

ethelthefrog

Will there be swords? Will there be dragons? Please let there be dragons.

  • #3986 Posted 16 days ago
  • 0
PrincessLapis

PrincessLapis

I have no idea. I have no other plans for this story, just a random bit that was in my head, actually. Feel free to add dragons. =p

  • #3987 Posted 16 days ago
  • 0
Robert Quick

Robert Quick

I like the idea of this, the arc from where it starts to where it ends. Notes: 1) I imagine that the protagonist is chucking stones into darkness (or a void), as the stars wouldn't give much light to see by. 2) I don't think you need to say 'forcing me to shiver for warmth'. Noting the cold breeze and then the shiver in response is probably enough. 3) In the second paragraph specific details would help give the story life. Who would give the advice to go inside? A mother or kind aunt? A friend? etc. And naming the He at first would be good too, I think. Lastly for that paragraph I'd like the final sentence to be moved down to be a sentence on its own, let the last few sentences breathe a little. 4) When the protagonist stumbles, I'd like a connecting sentence about righting themselves or shaking it off or w/e which will give the final lines more impact. Connecting the stumble and then moving onward makes it all come together nicely, I think.

  • #4044 Posted 41 hours ago
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  • Published 16 days ago.
  • Story viewed 6 times and rated 0 times.

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