On the shore

Lampyris Noctiluca

:-)


Hair dark and damp were stirring in the wind

and I sat on a rock and looked at her

naked back as night made his descent.

The reddening sky background to flocks of gulls;

no voice, nor song of other son of Man

was to disturb our tendersome farewell.


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Comments (2 so far!)

Robert Quick

Robert Quick

I like the imagery. Each line builds on the last until the whole evokes a sort of hollow wanting (in a good way). Well done there.

Would you like constructive criticism? The site assures me that everyone loves feedback but I've not found that to be true.

  • #3875 Posted 2 years ago
  • 0
Lampyris Noctiluca

Lampyris Noctiluca

Hi Robert! My apologies for replying so late. I have been away in the past two months.

Yes, I would really appreciate your honest feedback.

  • #3968 Posted 1 year ago
  • 0

Inspired by (sequel to):

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