My previous stories:
I'm getting back into writing after a long break.
Your comments are greatly appreciated!
"All hands, prepare for atmospheric entry."
It was a warning, not an order. The crew had been prepared for at least an hour.
Armored Infantry Captain Danielle Freiz was thoroughly annoyed, because her entire squad was late.
In fact, she wasn't even sure who was in her squad anymore.
A roiling administrative disaster seemed poised to ruin the entire mission… for which the twelve hundred meter bulk of HMS Spartoi was about to plunge into a dead world's atmosphere.
Her complaints up the command chain had resulted in a "We'll get back to you" which had strayed from merely inconvenient to dangerously absurd as the hours ticked by.
"Alpha squad, prepare for drop," echoed across the cavernous hangar deck where she waited alone in the cramped confines of her machine. This warning accompanied the appearance of a flashing launch timer on her HUD.
Seriously!? She resisted the urge to yell over the radio at the launch director, as her mech began to rumble forward on its rails towards the launch track.
No prequels yet. Why not write one?
No sequels yet. Why not write one?
Comments (5 so far!)
I wrote this in March but forgot to post it. Oops!
- #3765 Posted 4 years ago
Better late than never! I like it. Kind of feels like Starship Troopers, although I get a Warhammer 40K vibe too. I find it odd that she doesn't know who is in her squad and I'm not sure what to extrapolate from it. It sticks out to me and begs for more attention. I know there was an administrative disaster but I feel like that doesn't quite adequately explain the situation (if it was even supposed to. It might not if there is a mystery element.). Anyway, nicely done!
- #3770 Posted 4 years ago
Classic SF military fiction feel. I haven't had the chance to write stuff like this for a long, long time. Good stuff!
- #3776 Posted 4 years ago
I can appreciate a cascading administrative disaster causing a problem with shifting squad rosters so that there's mass confusion and unknowns for a squad leader. The question I have that I'd love to see elaborated on at some point in the narrative is how that cascade filters down to a starship in flight. By that point your crew complement is fixed, so your pool of potential squad members becomes limited. Sure, there could be last-minute changes to the mission roster, even right up to moments before a drop, but even then you'd think at least the ship's captain or AI (if it has one) would have time to update the squad leader so they have the appropriate information to know how to deploy their troops once on the ground. Otherwise, you're just asking for a clusterfuck of an operation where a lot of good soldiers die needlessly. I'm not saying it couldn't happen, but as a reader I want a damn good satisfying explanation for how something like that happens.
- #3778 Posted 4 years ago
Also, I want to know why they're dropping onto a dead planet. I need more!!!! :-D
- #3779 Posted 4 years ago
- Published 4 years ago and featured 4 years ago.
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