Lump In My Throat

ElshaHawk LoA

Ficlets and Ficly survivor, FicMom, and Mistress of Well-Intentioned Indecision and Goddess of Unrequited Love. @ElshaHawk @HawkandYoung

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"Why won't you go to the wedding?" asked the sister of the groom, with an accusatory tone.

"It would be awkward for me."

"What about HIM?! His best friend not there??"

"I'm a GIRL. I can't go to the bachelor party."

"Go to the bachelorette party," she said flippantly, like it was the obvious solution.

"I don't even know the bride."

"They've been together for 2 years!"

"I don't talk to her. I know she likes cats and drinks with friends and football."

"So talk to her!"

"She's not the one I want to talk to! I have never seen my best friend in person. Never. If I ever get to see him in person I want to spend time with him, not a bachelorette party, not with his Mom while he dances on the dance floor, not with strangers while the wedding party gets dressed, and I can't talk to him on his honeymoon." My voice began to crack and I stopped listing.

"Oh."

I swallowed the lump in my throat."You all get to celebrate. I get to spend time not with him like any other day. Why go?"

"To show your support."

...

gasp


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Comments (2 so far!)

Robert Quick

Robert Quick

The dynamics of the situation are strange. So the protagonist is having a conversation with her best friend's sister? And the best friend is a man she's never met before? Not impossible certainly, especially with something like a wedding to create these forced roads between people, but odd enough that it took a couple of reads to get what is going on. It might be better served split into (at least) two parts, so that you can add clarity. For example. the last part two lines can be read as ellipses as a silent response to the best friend's sister and then she gasps as she realizes the subtext that has been there all along OR the ellipses could be read as the passage of time and the protagonist gasps due to her (unstated) revelation.

  • #3496 Posted 8 months ago
  • 0
ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

Yeah, it's odd.

The ending.. I meant for the sister to gasp as she realizes the subtext of the reason why the best friend refuses to go. I was not clear.

It was more about getting this out of my head than anything else.

  • #3536 Posted 8 months ago
  • 0

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