Locus of Control

ElshaHawk LoA

Ficlets and Ficly survivor, FicMom, and Mistress of Well-Intentioned Indecision and Goddess of Unrequited Love. @ElshaHawk @HawkandYoung

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Me: "I get it, you need a home base, someone who adores you for who you are, and to feel secure. You want more than a place to crash when you're not working. However the Locus of Control has shifted. You are letting them have everything and not making decisions for yourself. You are putting all of your happiness into the happiness of another. When you don't have control of your schedule and I am dependent upon you, I get hurt when you say you'll be there and you aren't because you told me you would, but you never took into account the plans at home. I'm not doing this again in 2018. I spent 2017 heartbroken over and over from missed meetings and watching you frolic about on adventures."

You: ...

Me: ...

You: ...

Me: "Can you hear me?"

You: "Yeah, these earbuds are really good."

Me:...

You:...

Me: "You are weak, you know that?"

You: "How so?"

Me: "You won't stand up for yourself."

You: "Sure I will. If I'm mad, I'll tell you."

Me: "Okay..."

Note to self: You won't stand up for me either.


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Comments (2 so far!)

Robert Quick

Robert Quick

Yep. Even just in a friendship, flaking out (or not being able to meet commitments, of not being able to keep their word) isn't just rude, it's a deal breaker for me. I had to learn that the hard way. It's interesting that as much as people say they like me (and they might), they are willing to sacrifice plans with me, with no awareness that they are doing so. Almost never an apology. And then they wonder why we haven't hung out in months/years. Sure I could yell at them but what would that really accomplish? Anyway if it wasn't clear, I hear you.

  • #3335 Posted 10 months ago
  • 1
ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

Thanks, RQ. When you say your piece and are met with silence.. it's like, do you even care?? Were you even listening?? Then the comment afterwards was so disarming and off in left field..like, why did I even bother? It was futile. It makes me angry at myself.

  • #3336 Posted 10 months ago
  • 0
  • Published 10 months ago.
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