007, shaken not stirred (part one of possibly more, in time)


I am my own OC. I will keep track of my life. These may be news, or they may be venting. I need somewhere to write the truth of my heart. Probably it won't interest you.

Some of it will be fictional. I'm my own write-in OC.

I'm somewhat troubled...

if by somewhat I mean massively.

Well, I was very anxious today, all day, ever since about this time last night, which is 10:30 PM. I have a lot to talk about; one thing at a time, I guess.

I was brave today, after spending most of the day scared and blaming myself for a Grievous Life Choice (but I guess it will be all right in time), I was still aware that I was more anxious about a stressor from slightly longer ago. I'm not sure how much detail I ought to go into now, but it was a situation where someone I have a long-standing and very close queerplatonic sort of relationship with, for the last seven years, suddenly mentioned in passing that their partner was something-something, I forget the details. But it was complex. I felt many irrational things, jealousy high on the list, fear of losing the superb loving relationship he and I share, fear that I'd overstepped my bounds; after all, he and I are Valentines again this year!

So today I figured out how to bring it up and we discussed it and now we're doing as well as ever, or better.



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