Hunters

Robert Quick

Where the -@!# did my muse go?

Writer, dreamer, knight, shackled by entertainment . . . and people.


Sheriff Briggs eyed the man leaning against the dark Chevy. The pocket of tobacco in his lip had started to sour. "Been round here long?"

"Nope, just passing through."

"Hunting?"

"Nah. Wouldn't know what to do with a deer if I caught it. Hate to waste something so graceful."

"Sure, I get you. Myself, I do a little hunting on the weekends. Keeps me out of the wife's hair, if you know what I mean. Never catch much but it's not about the catching, right? It's about the doing." Sheriff Briggs walked around the bed of the truck and knocked on the hard plastic covering. "Nice little camper you got there."

The man frowned. "Suits me. Holds my stuff. Keeps me out of the wind and the rain and the cold."

"Got anything special in there right now?"

"Nah, it's empty. Just cleaned it out in fact."

"Yeah, road trips do me that way too. Gotta start clean before you can get dirty. Hey, I hate to ask this but have you seen two girls running on about fourteen? They were last seen getting into a truck like this one."


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Comments (4 so far!)

Average reader rating 5.00/5

ethelthefrog

ethelthefrog

Last-line's a real kicker. Beautifully delivered.

Presumed innocent...

  • #3188 Posted 4 years ago
  • 0
ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

Nicely done, with both parties speaking in codes. Way to hold that last line for the big reveal!

  • #3191 Posted 4 years ago
  • 0
  • 5 out of 5
Jim Stitzel

Jim Stitzel

This really hits home, especially after the murder of the two little girls in our area late last year. It's a wound in this community that's still raw.

  • #3250 Posted 4 years ago
  • 0
Abby

Abby

oh boy, I didn't see the last line coming. It sort of transforms the Sheriff from a classic but friendly idiot into a real cop who knows exactly what he's doing. I had to read it a second time to get all of the subtext. Nicely done!

  • #3253 Posted 4 years ago
  • 0
  • 5 out of 5

Story challenge:

Write a conversation where both people are holding back, neither of them saying what they mean.

Facade by nuclearsubmarine
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