Seven Deadly Keys

ElshaHawk LoA

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The problem with locator spells is that they can go where humans cannot. Not having form, they can travel through and air and water for far longer than those using them can follow. Spells need to be tethered on a sort of reciprocating line so they see where to go and yet stay near the spellcaster, or programmed to show places on a detailed map.

Finding the seven keys would not be easy. They were ancient. Once together, the Knights Templar had separated them to stop their power from being used ever again, dispersing them by caravan and ship to far away locations.

Larina studied the maps again. One key was in the ocean, located, but she hadn't mastered the underwater breathing spells she needed. One was buried in the dragon mountains, her map not detailed enough to properly gauge the dangers. Two were in the hands of the hostile snowland king. He used them to profess his power and leadership over others.

She had two, each stolen or earned by clever magical schemes. One was guarded by monks, her new target.


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Comments (8 so far!)

Average reader rating 4.00/5

WhiteHat

WhiteHat

It sounds like Larina might not think to ask politely and convince them she needs their artifact.

But if she can find them, surely others will be looking...

  • #3014 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
HSAR

HSAR

I like this glimpse into her seemingly very organised mind.

  • #3015 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

Hm, Whitehat, others mat be looking, but can they use her level of magic? :)

  • #3017 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
Robert Quick

Robert Quick

I'm a big fan of defining magic so that it has its own sets of rules and can't be just a hand wave for doing whatever you need to. So that parts good. Knights Templar seems to imply that this is our world, but Dragon Mountains seem to imply that it's not. Changing or adding a detail to either would help I think. Dragon Mountains in France (for example) or just altering the name of the Knights a little bit. On the nitpicky side: in the last line I'd like it more if it was: She had two, one stolen and one earned by clever magical schemes. Her newest target was guarded by monks. (The explanation is longer than the sentence lol but the first part of the sentence sounds vague, as if both keys could have been any combination of stolen or earned cleverly: 0/2, 1/1, 2/0 if that makes sense. And then by adding the word 'one' twice in that sentence it makes it clunky and repetitive in the next sentence so I restructured the sentence to make it work more cleanly.) Including my thought process makes comments bulky.

  • #3021 Posted 3 years ago
  • 1
ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

Good ideas, RQ. I always write on the fly. I make mistakes and don't see the oddities until later. I don't know as I'm writing it what world I'm in.

  • #3022 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

That means, I appreciate your comments!

  • #3023 Posted 3 years ago
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ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

I was thinking.. we humans might not call them Dragon Mountains, but maybe the witch's map does because she can 'see' them and 'believes' in them. HUH? Huh? nudge nudge

  • #3024 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
Jim Stitzel

Jim Stitzel

So many questions to be begged of in this story. What are the keys? Why are they important? What power do they hold? Why does Larina want them so badly? And those are just for starters.

  • #4405 Posted 1 year ago
  • 1
  • 4 out of 5

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