What Missing Feels Like

ElshaHawk LoA

Ficlets and Ficly survivor, FicMom, and Mistress of Well-Intentioned Indecision and Goddess of Unrequited Love. @ElshaHawk @HawkandYoung







I don't think you understand what it feels like to miss someone the way I miss you.

When I want to call, or text, or communicate, I am struck mute. Words fail me as my heart aches, knowing that you are so near and yet so far. I could send a simple smiley face, but nothing would convey the clawing desperation tearing my chest apart with every breath every hour that you are busy elsewhere.

It's not what we say, it's how we say it. There is an ease, a comfort, and a joy that releases my anxiety, and loosens the tightness in my chest. I feel whole again. No matter how tightly I have wound myself in a cocoon of depression and despair, the sound of your voice breaks me free.

You're my journey. I dreamed I was driving fast on a twisty turning road through a woods, swerving off into the ditch, then driving back up onto pavement, knowing I had to keep going, knowing that I couldn't stay here, but my destination was further. That's how it feels to chase you, to follow after you, to seek you; always out of my reach.


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Comments (1 so far!)

Robert Quick

Robert Quick

Outside the person's immediate present, the very real feelings of loss, the damage of absence, there is a story here. And the many of the best stories deal with the beauty of tragedy, of loss. I'm not saying there is a silver lining but there might be an opportunity.

And who knows, perhaps there is a happy ending in the cards somewhere down the line. Or at least catharsis.

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