When Looking Up


I'm just this guy, you know?

To expand on that, I am also the following...

- A former ficly member who is 38 years old and is schizoaffective (depressive type)

- Into creating languages and fantasy worlds from scratch

- A listener of audiobooks & good tunes

- Always too hard on myself

I looked up at the sky & saw a belt of densely packed stars banded across the blackness of night. The galaxy they represented felt so far away, though deep inside i logically knew that i was a part of it.

I wondered where exactly I fit in, though & the answer was not clear to me in my dumb struck state. To be honest, I'm not sure I would've known had all my faculties been immediately available to be anyway.

I felt like there was some sort of meaning to be found in the numerous specks of like that I could see above me, but I seemed to be missing it somehow. Maybe I was too stupid or just not enlightened enough to find a truth in it all that applied to me in any way.

I sighed audibly, though nobody was around to hear it. It just seemed like the thing to do at the time. It was a frustrated sigh at that. One that carried with it the sorrow of feeling lost in the infinity of everything that was looking down at me on this meaningless, blue & green marble where I lived.

But maybe that's what the universe wanted.


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Comments (2 so far!)

ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

Me vs. universe. That's a battle that seems stacked against the individual. I know at times the individual wins, has a positive outcome, but they really defeat the universe?? I just don't think we should blame or give the universe any power like that. It's our life. We have to live with what we have. We have to live with ourselves. We don't have to live with the universe. It wouldn't fit inside our rooms. Do what makes you happy, or at least most comfortable or able to live with yourself.

  • #2766 Posted 5 years ago
  • 0
Robert Quick

Robert Quick

I'm never sure how to address the stuff that seems personal. If it's a story then I can say that raising questions like this fir a character is a good start to a story. Dissatisfaction with life is often enough of an impetus that when the adventure starts, the character is in a position to say, "My meaning might be found here." And that being said, prose is not just words but patterns: repetition and break of repetition. And this criticism isn't meant to change this story but having four paragraphs that are roughly the same size and all start with 'I' sort of blends together, It's weird and I don't know if this will make sense, I wish I could tag another author in to see if they know what I mean but, having four paragraphs start with 'I' is fine on purpose and not fine on accident. I feel like I'm failing here.

On the other side, if this is a personal piece and not a story, my advice for meaning is to look for patterns that make you happy and patterns that make you miserable and then follow the path you see.

  • #2815 Posted 5 years ago
  • 0


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