Asbriong

Jae

Red eyes

Rusted fur

Imperfect rhymes

But full of words


On clear nights you could see the distant glimmering pinpricks of light denoting the city's presence. It was tucked away amongst deep mountain ridges and thickly forested land, with hints of water hidden in the surroundings.

The view was beautiful this time of year. Hable laid on his back with arms protecting his neck from the cool grass upon which he lay, listening to the soft whir of lightbugs. Far, far above him, across the sky, lay Ambiter, and during this orientation the city rested directly above his own home upon the opposing land, Decceter.

The seasons and orientation were slightly out of alignment, so each year as the city passed overhead he could watch the cycles change and witness the many facets of beauty it underwent. Snow capped the higher peaks, but the two places were in summer synchronicity, for now.

Over the next three months, the city would slowly rotate out of sight, and Hable would wait patiently until the next time it arrived.

The woman he loved lived there. In time, he would go to her.


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Comments (6 so far!)

Average reader rating 5.00/5

Kespan

Kespan

Tidy piece of work - I'm impressed with how much world building you managed to pack in a single kilobyte. I think a story about a person seeking love on a ring world is a cool twist to what normally would be hard sci-fi. Well done!

  • Posted 12 days ago
Jae

Jae

Thanks Kespan. There are a lot of surprises ahead as revelation of this world continues.

  • Posted 12 days ago
Jim Stitzel

Jim Stitzel

That's one thing I've always loved about Ficlatte, and Ficly before it. The constraints on characters per piece really forces you to write tight prose, making the best use of the fewest number of words. I know it's made my own writing better over the years. This piece, Jae, is an excellent example of putting the greatest amount of value to the fewest number of resources. Good prose, excellent worldbuilding. I'll be watching this develop with great interest.

  • Posted 12 days ago
  • 5 out of 5
HSAR

HSAR

Nitpick - 1024 characters is 8 kilobytes, assuming ethel used the common UTF-8 character encoding.

Back on topic - loved this! "Summer synchronicity" immediately drew out lots of great questions.

  • Posted 11 days ago
HSAR

HSAR

And I think there's a bug in the comment rendering code now, since I typed star-eight-star it ended up with the above results.

  • Posted 11 days ago
ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

Great job, Jae! I want to see this double world. I did watch a movie where this sort of thing happened.

  • Posted 11 days ago

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