The Room

Anorak

anorak

/ˈænəˌræk/

noun

1.

a warm waterproof hip-length jacket usually with a hood, originally worn in polar regions, but now worn for any outdoor activity

2.

(informal, derogatory) a socially inept person with a hobby considered by most people to be boring


“What do you see?” the doctor said.

“It’s dark.”

The girl sat in the corner of the room, knees pulled up to her chin. She rocked slowly back and forth.

“What’s dark?”

The girl shook her head, one hand scratching at the side of her face until it drew blood.

“It’s dark in here,” she said. “Mummy, it’s dark in here.”

The doctor walked across the room and placed a hand on her shoulder.

And then

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S C A T T E R I N G

A R O U N D

The Room.


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Comments (6 so far!)

Average reader rating 5.00/5

Fantasist

Fantasist

Whoa. Dark. Creepy. Nicely done!

  • #2057 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
Anorak

Anorak

Thanks. It's a bit odd b/c it actually reformatted the text. When I entered it in, the whole section about falling apart was sort of cascading down, instead of just a straight vertical drop. I still like the way it visually compliments the text, but it was a little different from how I first had it saved in Word and PDF...

  • #2081 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
AdventuresAndSearches

AdventuresAndSearches

perhaps the use of small punctuation, with spaces in between, could help you move to the part of the line you wish to use? That's rather a chilling story!

  • #2093 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
  • 5 out of 5
Fantasist

Fantasist

Ohhhhhh I see what you mean about the formatting! I like it how it turned out though! I think it gives a rather sudden feel to it which I like. Kind of like getting yanked back by a seatbelt that locks.

  • #2094 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
Anorak

Anorak

The punctuation idea might work, but I think I'll just leave it be on this site. I've got a PDF copy I'm passing around for people who want to see it in the original formatting. Maybe I'll try the punctuation trick in the future if I write something similarly visual in nature.

  • #2099 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
ethelthefrog

ethelthefrog

That's a web browser thing, actually. The leading spaces are all there in the HTML that is delivered by the server. I'd concur with the leading-space thing. Or maybe I could convert leading spaces to   to preserve this kind of thing. I'll have a think about it.

Nice story, though.

  • #2100 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
  • Published 3 years ago.
  • Story viewed 15 times and rated 1 times.

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