Intersection
The lights flashed red and I raced forward. Car horns and the screech of tires blared at me, scolding me. Careening towards the woman that stood opposite me on the crosswalk. She registered me with a look of surprise, then she smiled and spread her arms wide. I stopped in my tracks, adopting a look of joy and confusion. We embraced. "I thought you had forgotten all about me". A barrage of thoughts and emotions raced inside me all at once, "I thought you were dead". She shook her head "Now, Charles, you know I'm smarter than that". "You... Pearl, you drowned. I thought I was going crazy again on the street".
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Comments (2 so far!)
Average reader rating 4.00/5
ElshaHawk LoA
This reads like a crazy dream. By way of inference, the reader figures out that the person was on foot, not in a car running the red light. They also realize that the person standing there with their arms open is not welcoming an impact from a speeding, red-light running driver, but an embrace from a person on foot. It is unclear whom thought the other had forgotten them. Finally, there is this drowning that never happened and the how of that to consider. The answer to how a person isn't drowned can vary from simple to complex. This leaves it open to sequel, but the piece itself is cloudy and doesn't give much vision inside its dream-like fugue. Perhaps you could use afew more characters to give some additional detail.
- #1861 Posted 6 years ago
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Mighty-Joe Young LOA
Hey ill admit i'm confused but i liked it anyway it made me ask enough questions to confused.