lacrimae rerum

I like to think of myself as a writer.

The lights flashed red and I raced forward. Car horns and the screech of tires blared at me, scolding me. Careening towards the woman that stood opposite me on the crosswalk. She registered me with a look of surprise, then she smiled and spread her arms wide. I stopped in my tracks, adopting a look of joy and confusion. We embraced. "I thought you had forgotten all about me". A barrage of thoughts and emotions raced inside me all at once, "I thought you were dead". She shook her head "Now, Charles, you know I'm smarter than that". "You... Pearl, you drowned. I thought I was going crazy again on the street".


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Comments (2 so far!)

Average reader rating 4.00/5

Mighty-Joe Young LOA

Mighty-Joe Young LOA

Hey ill admit i'm confused but i liked it anyway it made me ask enough questions to confused.

  • #1860 Posted 6 years ago
  • 0
  • 4 out of 5
ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

This reads like a crazy dream. By way of inference, the reader figures out that the person was on foot, not in a car running the red light. They also realize that the person standing there with their arms open is not welcoming an impact from a speeding, red-light running driver, but an embrace from a person on foot. It is unclear whom thought the other had forgotten them. Finally, there is this drowning that never happened and the how of that to consider. The answer to how a person isn't drowned can vary from simple to complex. This leaves it open to sequel, but the piece itself is cloudy and doesn't give much vision inside its dream-like fugue. Perhaps you could use afew more characters to give some additional detail.

  • #1861 Posted 6 years ago
  • 0
  • Published 6 years ago and featured 6 years ago.
  • Story viewed 16 times and rated 1 times.

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