Rapture and Fatigue

slapdashmonuments

Inspiration hits with a flash, stories written on the go. A rumble of laughter and the tale is heard only in echoes. The wind blows me in a new direction. Whom shall I visit next?


My heart exploded today

With a pain most exquisite

Like acne under digital pressure

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Comments (4 so far!)

Average reader rating 5.00/5

Mighty-Joe Young LOA

Mighty-Joe Young LOA

This had me thinking what if it was digital acne? crickets Get it the other digital. more crickets Okay they can't all be knee slappers give an ape a break. Listen this haiku was freaking badass, I wish had more pencils or like an awesome samurai pencil with a dragon on the side. Loved it.

  • #1779 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
  • 5 out of 5
ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

I prefer when your heart explodes with euphoria instead of pain. The pimple is the perfect icky and violent metaphor for the bad kind of heart explosion, though.

Good thing is, pimples and hearts can heal.

  • #1791 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
slapdashmonuments

slapdashmonuments

This was actually supposed to be just the beginning of a longer poem, and I will still likely continue it but in another post cos I like your comments. :D

  • #1798 Posted 3 years ago
  • 0
slapdashmonuments

slapdashmonuments

Mighty Joe Young, I want to thank you for describing the early draft of this as a kind of Haiku...I went back and fixed the syllable counts so each part of the sequel here is actually a haiku!

  • #1828 Posted 3 years ago
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  • Published 3 years ago.
  • Story viewed 15 times and rated 1 times.

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