It Came From the Produce Aisle

Anorak

anorak

/ˈænəˌræk/

noun

1.

a warm waterproof hip-length jacket usually with a hood, originally worn in polar regions, but now worn for any outdoor activity

2.

(informal, derogatory) a socially inept person with a hobby considered by most people to be boring


Mother screamed as an angry cantaloupe chased her through the produce section of Walter’s Grocery Store. A few feet away, a horde of vine ripened tomatoes gnawed at the ankle of a little, old lady, while a head of kale viciously assaulted a dread locked college student in hemp pants and sandals. Blood and fruit juice puddled on the tile flooring, while overhead the voice of the store manager cracked through the PA, frantically calling for assistance.

A lesser man might have broken in the face of such chaos, but not me. I just happened to have a melon baller in my pocket, and an insatiable appetite for saving the day.


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Comments (5 so far!)

Average reader rating 5.00/5

ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

Eat or be eaten? Just because he feels like being a hero doesn't mean he should... :P

  • #1499 Posted 4 years ago
  • 0
Emmyful

Emmyful

As a registered dietitian, this both frightens me and makes me laugh.

  • #1502 Posted 4 years ago
  • 0
Storykeeper

Storykeeper

Laughing aloud!

  • #1503 Posted 4 years ago
  • 0
  • 5 out of 5
Anorak

Anorak

Thanks so much for the kind words.! It was fun to write.

  • #1504 Posted 4 years ago
  • 0
slapdashmonuments

slapdashmonuments

Reminds me of my "Stalky's Nightmare" sequence here at Ficlatte, which by chance I just reread. :D

  • #1507 Posted 4 years ago
  • 0
  • Published 4 years ago.
  • Story viewed 20 times and rated 1 times.

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