3 Word Prompt: Lost, absolution, and peace

slapdashmonuments

Inspiration hits with a flash, stories written on the go. A rumble of laughter and the tale is heard only in echoes. The wind blows me in a new direction. Whom shall I visit next?


I am blissful, at peace.

I have worked for so long to achieve this state.

I know I had my personal problems before, but I have wrestled with them and I am doing better.

I hurt people. I didn't do it on purpose, and I have tried to make amends.

I have said my amens.

I have apologized, I have punished myself.

I have scourged myself clean.

I am better now.

And I have been granted absolution.

Forgiveness, requested, has been achieved.

They told me "all is forgiven."

-

But to be truthful,

I have worked so hard for this,

To no avail, though others may see in me a better person now.

But I cannot find a way to unblame myself

The wretchedness and meanness of myself erodes through my soul

My self hate burns

Straight through me

All I should do, I feel, I have done.

All I have done means nothing to me.

I am loathsome, as I always have been.

If doing what is right and honorable helps me not at all,

I am confused and appalled.

What might I do, how can I love myself?

I am in a vast city of judgment,

So very lost.


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Comments (4 so far!)

ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

Been there, done that. Learning that you aren't the problem and to forgive yourself is hard. It's recognition, validation from others that you seek, to say you are doing the right thing and to BELIEVE them will all of your heart. Then you can love yourself again.

  • #1249 Posted 2 years ago
  • 0
slapdashmonuments

slapdashmonuments

Thank you very much. Um, could I have a hug please?

  • #1252 Posted 2 years ago
  • 0
ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

((HUG)) !!

  • #1257 Posted 2 years ago
  • 0
slapdashmonuments

slapdashmonuments

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy thankee kindly!

  • #1261 Posted 2 years ago
  • 0

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