ElshaHawk LoA

Ficlets and Ficly survivor, FicMom, and Mistress of Well-Intentioned Indecision and Goddess of Unrequited Love. @ElshaHawk @HawkandYoung







If you've never seen a Time Timer before, it's a big timer with a red wedge instead of hands on its face that shrinks as the time nears zero.

Lucy sat quietly wriggling. She pulled at strands of her hair, lifting them high behind her head and shaking her wrist so that individual strands fell, slipping from her fingers. It had the effect of teasing her hair.

I could see her eyes dart from the carpet with her cards on it to the timer.

2 minutes to go.

She pulled up a bare foot onto the chair and picked at her toenail. I calmly pulled her foot back down. Her hands darted to her hair again.

1 minute left.

She pulled both feet up, knees to her chest, one arm around them, holding them tight. Her hair was becoming more frizzy on one side. She frowned at me.

30 seconds.

She began to hum "My Clementine" but stopped when I gave her the 'shh' sign and the "Mom" look. waiting was so hard. She'd nearly done it. No spoiling it now.

The timer beeped.

Lucy jumped up with a yell of relief and raced to her cards.


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Comments (2 so far!)

Average reader rating 4.00/5



I read this as my own child is having a major melt-down and is complaining bitterly about having to wait.

It's so hard for them.

It's a valuable lesson, though. They need to learn that, if they wake up their parents at half six on a Saturday, they go in the cage over the shark tank for an hour. It's not too sturdy, of course: too much wiggling and the bottom falls out. Oh yes, they remember their naughty sister. They remember the splash. And the water turning to red foam...

But I digress. Nice story. A recognisable snapshot of life.

  • #739 Posted 7 years ago
  • 0


Thank you very much, Elsha! I gather there's no way to name a winner for a prompt, in contrast with the old challenges, but this is really relatable.

  • #850 Posted 7 years ago
  • 0
  • 4 out of 5

Story prompt:

Imagine your first person narrator being aware of any kind of countdown (time, quantity, etc.) that is important to someone else; present the narrator's feelings about the event and its meaning for the other person.

A Countdown for Another by aslargeasalone

  • Published 7 years ago.
  • Story viewed 23 times and rated 1 times.

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