A Better Time (After Evans & Brown's Amalden Valley)

Robert Quick

Where the -@!# did my muse go?

Writer, dreamer, knight, shackled by entertainment . . . and people.

Story is marked as mature.

Hand in hand,

my sister and I ringed

our governess beneath

an acorn tree's leaves.

We skipped and swayed,

and laughed whilst she did sing,

her head strangely tilting,

face half-masked in shadow,

one ear cocked to heaven

(the other to hell).

Her song warped the very air,

giving our governess a dark halo.

Witch or Devil--

whose shadow hand

clawed upward across the rough trunk

of the acorn tree?

All of us trapped

in a dance that ended

only as night fell.


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Comments (5 so far!)

Average reader rating 5.00/5



Oh, beautifully dark. I love the imagery here, starting gentle and pretty and twisting darkly.

  • #674 Posted 7 years ago
  • 0
  • 5 out of 5


I love how it is happy and gay in the beginning but very dark shortly after

  • #675 Posted 7 years ago
  • 0
  • 5 out of 5


Begs for a melody. It reminds of ring around the rosie, understandably, and this takes place alongside other unsettling children's songs.

  • #680 Posted 7 years ago
  • 0


Bizarre and dark, or is it? I really like the duality to the scene.

  • #681 Posted 7 years ago
  • 0
Robert Quick

Robert Quick

Sorry I should have explained that this was ekphrastic poetry (a vivid description of a scene or, more commonly, a work of art) which can be seen here: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/42/3e/ec/423eec571bea73201687de369f00b6f7.jpg Too bad the picture is so small. It was a wall mural when I saw it.

  • #1436 Posted 6 years ago
  • 0
  • Published 7 years ago and featured 7 years ago.
  • Story viewed 32 times and rated 2 times.

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