Destined to Disappear

Jae

Just Another Escapist


"I am Togua, true leader of Avorhelis, and with this authority I banish Tyris from this city. His selfish acts have caused great devastation to our home. The direct deaths of dozens of citizens, as well as hundreds of injuries and damages are upon his head. I hereby evict him with the warning that his return will be at his own peril. None shall leave with him, show him compassion, or assist his departure. Tyris' punishment will allow him to contemplate the consequences of his actions until the end of his days. Open the gates!"

Devices of metals and gears in the walls gave a deafening groan after centuries of neglect, giving way only in fractions, until the mechanism caught and the locks retracted. The gates shuddered, showering dust down from the stone, but no motion followed. The Mierna had failed to resurrect the locks. Togua bowed his head to the sunrise, more diminished than ever in the morning light.

He waved a hand with words that made both time and my heart stop as one.

"Throw him over the wall."


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Comments (6 so far!)

Average reader rating 5.00/5

HSAR

HSAR

Harsh.

  • #530 Posted 5 years ago
  • 0
ethelthefrog

ethelthefrog

Not so bad when you imagine "the wall" as a knee-high picket fence.

Facetiousness aside, great imagery. I was struck, particularly by the diminishment of the great leader by the mechanical failure. Gorgeous.

  • #531 Posted 5 years ago
  • 0
  • 5 out of 5
ElshaHawk LoA

ElshaHawk LoA

I don't know whether to root for Togua or Tyris.

  • #536 Posted 5 years ago
  • 0
Jae

Jae

There were so many descriptive details I had to prune out of this piece to fit within the character limit. Reading it now feels like a shell of all that I intended to show. I need to get back into the skill of highly concentrated writing again.

  • #537 Posted 5 years ago
  • 0
aslargeasalone

aslargeasalone

Still, Jae, this is dense writing that is compelling and strong. I'm loving it.

  • #590 Posted 5 years ago
  • 0
  • 5 out of 5
A Gypsy Heart

A Gypsy Heart

Perfect! The picture painted here is so vivid. I love this type of fiction and hope to read more of this work.

  • #764 Posted 5 years ago
  • 0
  • Published 5 years ago and featured 5 years ago.
  • Story viewed 37 times and rated 2 times.

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