slapdashmonuments

"I don't know what to do." That's what I hear

So many times. I say this constantly.

Yet what I mean,…

But live I must, for now, so I'll contrive

To try things, to explore, to seek a guide

Or mentor to h…

I need to love myself--but that's quite hard.

I don't know how to do it, nor do I

Have guidance, ste…

I've never wished to act on those cruel notions

That cross my mind at times, but I've felt anger,

'C…

I feel a change is coming in my story;

My heart's blown cold, then hot, from north to west

If I am b…

Pyretta! Dear Pyretta, Sapphic Fire!

Of all the souls I've known, I love yours best--

Affection and …

fuck me let me die fuck fuck fuck shit shit damn it fuck me fuck my goddamned life or any life

I sho…

I shall not end my life and hurt you worse,

Despite the ideation in my mind--

How cruel an act! If r…

Today I broke a friendship once again

It lately seems to happen every day

I try so to be kind, but w…

Today my nails are red; so are my shorts,

And, as I shaved my arms at CCH,

That colour flowed again.…

I did my best. I did my worst.

Somehow, these two were one.

"I'd never wish to hurt you, Dear,"

I ca…

I don't get you. I don't get me.

I should give up, as you can see.

Thanks for the friendship; than…

whom can I trust?

I don't know the answer

what can I do?

I hope, through all of this, that I have learned

Some lessons to apply to later life,

So I may save …

My left leg's been through surgery--ah! Twice.

I'm walking nearly normally by now,

But that was taxi…